Saturday, June 23, 2007

Waz Across Az

Yesterday morning, we left Yuma after eating at a Cracker Barrel. (Don't yell at me, Rachel. Donna made me!)

Donna Enjoys her Cracker Barrel... Jeff cowers in fear of being bashed.

Afterwards, we drove into Sedona. On our way, we stopped for a waz break at Gila Bend, AZ. From the second we drove into this small town, we could tell it was a pile of crazy.

About a half mile into it, we found a UFO themed Best Western and attached Restaurant.

It was no Roswell, but it'll do, I suppose.

Next, we stopped to waz at the Black Bear Diner (grrr!) somewhere in the middle of Arizona.

The place was actually pretty nice, and was adorned with friendly wooden bears. . .

Precious, no?

Begging cutely for porridge. Where's Goldilocks??

Don't they just melt your icy heart? Donna even snuggled up to one!

Donna and the Black Bear! Ofcoursesheis!

Of course, the pee break ended in tragedy when I approached an ornery, hungry bear:

Don't feed the bears!

We got thrown out for unauthorized feeding of the bears, and after my arm was surgically reattached (stapled back on), we continued our journey.

Later, we wazzed at Rock Springs, AZ. And it was terrifying. Absolutely Terrifying. I almost wet myself as we pulled up:

A unique rest stop feature!

Donna thought they were toilets Now they are.

This is, I think, one of the only rest stops with an actual Saloon--along with a tattoo parlor. Clearly, the locals come here to hang out as well, which is always a dangerous mix. My only regret (besides stopping there at all) is that we weren't there a day sooner:

A Family of Karaoke Singers! Doesn't this qualify as child cruelty?

After we high-tailed it the hell out of there, we made it to Sedona which is clearly being rebuilt from the ground up.

View from our room

Our hotel is conveniently located across from a gas station that there doesn't seem to be an entrance to because of the construction, as well as a medical center which boasts skin care, eye care, dentistry for some ailment called "Lumpy Legs" which I think I may have. . .

My new motto: Lumpy Legs No More!

Later, we went into the town of Sedona, where Donna made friends with a small copper-based child. . .

That's my sister, licking it! Ofcoursesheis!

...who later tried to strangle me after kicking me in the crotch:

Little bitch.

Sedona proved to be quite the dangerous place for us, with terror lurking at every corner:

When Horses Attack...

...And rams...

...and Medusa...

...and Fiberglass...uhh...deer? Hi, it's swallowing my eye!

Clearly we're exhausted from the day's events. But now we're off to the Grand Canyon. So...if we don't post anymore, we're clearly dead. Have a great weekend!


Jon said...

Hi...someone's really PACKING it in!

nmfeliciani said...

you ate at cracker barrel...ofcourseyoudid. Get use to it. Donna has a map of all the cracker barrel locations and knows where the 11 other stores are located in AZ.

Oh yeah...beware of Grand Canyon killer squirrels...they will push you off the edge for your french fries.